CONGREGATION SHA'AR ZAHAV
An Innovative, Engaged Community
Rabbi Camille Shira Angel • Cantor Sharon Bernstein
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High Holiday BlogSeptember 6, 2010 On Being Radical I first started attending Sha’ar Zahav in 1993. Although I’ve always recognized how innovative we are, I haven’t always appreciated how radical we are.Yes, we’ve published a siddur (prayer book) that gives voice to many of us who didn’t feel included in the prayer books of more traditional liturgy. Our school is highly respected for its cutting edge curriculum. More than a minyan (ten) of Sha’ar Zahav congregants have entered the seminary to become rabbis, including the first out trans applicant (the amazing Rabbi Reuben Zellman). Sha’ar Zahav’s radicalness shines in the way congregants are empowered and encouraged to take on many synagogue-related tasks with little if any consultation with our professional clergy. The same thing that gives each of us the right to create the lives we want to live. Our educator, Rebecca Weiner, has a saying in her office, “We don’t have to find ourselves, but rather create ourselves.” And this week our tradition gives us the opportunity to do just that. When the High Holy Day liturgy asks, “Who shall live and who shall die,” some have reinterpreted this as “Who shall be truly alive, and who shall merely exist?” I wonder, if I sit at my computer playing solitaire, am I being truly alive, or merely existing? When I multitask when on the phone with a friend am I being truly alive, or merely existing? When I stuff my mouth with the wrong food, is this the existence I really want for myself? Despite not having previously consulted Rabbi Angel, I asked her what topics I might write about for this blog entry. She suggested that I discuss what the shofar (ram’s horn) evokes. Hearing the blasts of the shofar is a moving experience for me. The Shofar reminds us of the ram which Abraham sacrificed instead of his son, Isaac. On the second day of Rosh Hashanah we read the biblical story of the Akeda (binding of Isaac). We are taught that even when the knife is already raised in Abraham’s hand, G~d has the power to redeem. This teaching suggests to me that even if I think I am destined to go down one path, there is the chance to take another one. I use the High Holy Days to contemplate what changes I want to make in the year to come. The Sha’ar Zahav community encourages us be as radical as we want. Rabbi Camille Shira Angel provides support when we ask her. We can create the lives we want to live, thereby being truly alive, rather than merely existing. May you and your loved ones have a happy, healthy and sweet new year. Your CSZ HHD blogger, Howard Steiermann
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August 30, 2010 Darkness to Light I was surprised to find out that PG&E is following the Jewish calendar. Via U.S. Mail I received a “Notice of planned electric service interruption” for Wednesday, September 8th from 8am to 5pm. Which happens to be the day Rosh Hashanah begins. That day, I’ll have no computer, TV, or cordless phone usage all day. And no electricity for lights. If it’s a typical summer day in San Francisco, there won’t be a blaring hot sun, so my house will be dark.How fitting that from eight in the morning until I leave for Rosh Hashanah services I will be in darkness. Fitting because I just learned in a class taught by our Rabbi that “new beginnings start in darkness.” The Jewish day starts in the evening as the Torah states “there was evening, there was morning” (the darkness came before the light). We travel through the darkness of the birth canal as we immerge into the light of life here on earth. Many people who struggle with sobriety or have overcome a trauma have had to ‘hit bottom’ and be in a very, very dark place before they could turn themselves around and see the light. The month prior to Rosh Hashanah (Elul) has traditionally been spent as a period to travel through some darkness, with an eye toward the brightness of the New Year. Some people connect with their family and friends to work on deepening each relationship through giving thanks and asking for forgiveness. In the month of Elul it is common for Jews to reflect upon the patterns of their mistakes so they can contemplate new (brighter) ways of acting. The Rabbi also explained that the tone of the work we do prior to and during the High Holy Day season isn’t meant to be solely focused on the hard stuff. Rather we are to consider all that is good in our lives along with what needs repair. Rabbi Angel went on to teach that our very existence is a miracle and inherently good. G-d’s infinite creativity is stunning, awesome and good. Each of us has been given the gift of life – we didn’t have to do anything to get it, it is simply a gift from the Creator. In thanks for this miracle of life, it is incumbent upon us to give ourselves an annual polishing, so we can receive the light the universe is shining upon us. And, so we can radiate our inner light, allowing it to illuminate dark spaces. Our own or others’. New beginnings are born out of darkness. During the High Holy Days we are reminded that we can make positive change in our life. Sha’ar Zahav’s High Holy Day services strive to cultivate hope, allowing us to move through the darkness in which we find ourselves and supporting us to move into the brightness of a healthy and happy New Year. As PG&E schedules their service outages, I plan on taking the time to shine more light in my life. And by accepting the light which surrounds me, allowing for change and positive growth. Your CSZ HHD blogger, Howard Steiermann
August 23, 2010 Take a Seat Hopefully it is evident that I enjoy writing. If you’ve read my past three blog entries, thank you! I had no idea if anyone was reading this blog until this past week when a few people remarked that they liked it. Who am I to encourage anyone to join me at High Holy Day services? I myself have hesitations and difficulties getting myself to them. I typically bring a book in case my mind wanders. Granted, I don’t bring a novel but rather something spiritually related. Is that good role modeling? Additionally, I often don’t feel totally present (more often than I’d like to admit). And most times I walk into a service, be it at the Herbst or at our Dolores Street home, I am more than a little anxious simply choosing a seat. What are the reasons to attend? Well, I have 916 positive reasons. The Herbst Theatre website states it has 916 seats. Each seat’s occupant has the potential to write their name in the Book of Life. Yes, each of us are writers: writers with the deeds we do, with the love we give, with the compassion and understanding we offer. Service leaders are not on the bimah to pray, or write, for us, but rather to lead us in prayer, in contemplation, in silence. By getting myself into one of those 916 seats I give myself the gift of time. Time to think about where I am, and how I might like to change course. I am proficient at harping on things I have done wrong. How I could have better handled a situation, or offered a kinder word when a person was feeling low. Too often I deplete my mental and physical energies by dwelling on the past. How much better it would be if I would focus on how to act and react in the future. I will be attending Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur services to take an active role in writing my future. For me, forgiving others is easy. What I need practice with is forgiving myself, in order to write my best story for the coming year. Thank you for reading what I have written so far. And I hope that you’re adding Sha’ar Zahav’s High Holy Day Services to your calendars...in pen! Your CSZ HHD blogger,Howard Steiermann
August 16, 2010 Preparation for the High Holy Days Labor Day will be here before we know it. Then just two days later, Rosh Hashanah arrives, whether we’re ready or not. If you grew up Jewish, then you probably have some memory/connection around the High Holy Days. Mine are threefold:
Fortunately, my perspective around the High Holy Days has changed in the last few years. They are no longer High Holidays—they are High Holy Days. What prompted this transition from kinda insufferable to positively anticipated? One word: preparation. You can prepare for the holy days simply by recognizing that they are approaching. Or by attending the beautifully calm Selichot service the Saturday prior to Rosh Hashanah. I’ve found joining the Rabbi for her annual pre-High Holy Day class to be an educational, as well as deeply thought-provoking experience. Recently, I had two new experiences which prepared me for the High Holy Days. The first was a discussion at Congregation Sha’ar Zahav’s Minhag Council on non-Jews sounding the shofar. I came to the meeting thinking one way, and after having heard the thoughtful discussion, changed my opinion 180 degrees. No matter what our final decision, I love that we grapple with issues that some communities wouldn’t even think about opening for discussion. The second moving experience was tying tzitzit (the fringes G~d commanded wearing on the corner of garments). I am involved with planning and co-leading the Yom Kippur Mincha (afternoon) service. Last year, a half-dozen of us, led by the rabbi, decided to refashion this service into something wildly creative, yet grounded in tradition, with the goal of reinvigorating Yom Kippur afternoon. At last year’s Mincha service a large canvas was held over congregants who were sitting in the Herbst Theatre. We plan on doing the same this year, with the addition of tzitzit on the canvas, just as there are fringes on the corner of a tallis (prayer shawl). I didn’t know what to expect prior to arriving at the tying session. I don’t sew, knit, or crochet, and was never a boy scout nor sailor, so I don’t know how to tie knots. With a congregant as my teacher, I found that not only was it easy, but wonderfully meditative. And here I was doing something for the congregation, something concrete that I will enjoy remembering while sitting in the pews. Tying tzitzit connected me with the holidays, with the community, and with my inner self. I hope you join me for High Holy Day services at Congregation Sha’ar Zahav this year no matter what your prior experiences. And as it’s not Labor Day yet, it is not too late to engage in some preparation; small or large. See you at the Herbst! Your CSZ HHD blogger,Howard Steiermann
August 9, 2010 Inspiration Inspiration. I’ve found it in small things, such as a hummingbird taking a bath in my garden’s fountain or marveling at the inside of a yellow pepper. I have also been inspired by architecture: from the intricate lace work on a Baha’i Temple to the undulating Aqua Tower. But it is people’s stories which inspire me most. We have some amazing congregants here at Sha’ar Zahav: local and statewide elected officials, world renowned artists, extremely generous philanthropists and a myriad of others who are making the world a better place. This Rosh Hashanah I look forward to hearing the sermon delivered by a hero of the gay community, Donald Abrams. Donald Abrams, M.D., is someone whose name I didn’t know until just last week. He was a pioneer in the diagnosis and treatment of HIV/AIDS. Nowadays he specializes in integrative cancer treatment. He is a long-time Sha’ar Zahav congregant with deep roots in our community. In 1979 when Donald was a medical intern in San Francisco he noted that many of his gay patients were presenting with swollen lymph glands. Working at San Francisco General Hospital in the early ‘80s, Donald was at ground zero for HIV and AIDS work. He became a cancer specialist at SF General. Donald shared with me that due to being a gay man, and working at the epicenter of the HIV/AIDS world, there was a time during which he knew everyone with HIV in San Francisco. His research was instrumental in opening the federal coffers for testing the efficacy of marijuana on humans. The loss of his partner to HIV opened his heart, and deepened his connection to Sha’ar Zahav. Another aspect of Donald’s life is his fascination with total solar eclipses. He circles the globe in order to experience as many as he can, and thus far has witnessed thirteen. He feels that solar eclipses are “nature’s greatest spectacle. Seeing the sun behind the moon gives me the impression that I am seeing the eye of G~d.” Donald’s comment about total solar eclipses made me think of a theme central to the High Holy Days: moving forward or being held back. He commented that in some cultures, an eclipse is marveled at for its natural beauty. While in other cultures, it is feared and thought to hold negative power. Similarly, during the High Holidays I am drawn to think about how we can view aspects our lives in either a positive or negative light. Come join me at Sha’ar Zahav for the High Holidays. Hear a good story. Uncover new perspectives on your life. Consider how you want to act in the coming year. Marvel, be inspired. I look forward to sharing more with you next week. Your CSZ HHD blogger,Howard Steiermann
August 2, 2010 How are vegetables and High Holiday services similar? How are vegetables and High Holiday services similar? Well, as a kid, I didn’t like most vegetables. It may have been that my mom boiled all the flavor, texture and color out of ‘em. Or it could have been that, with a kid’s palate, I simply couldn’t enjoy brussel sprouts. As an adult, while I’m no vegetarian, I love digging into a huge plate of virtually any vegetable (except for lima beans…). No, I’m not writing a restaurant review or cooking column. I was asked to blog about the High Holiday experience at Congregation Sha’ar Zahav Over the years I’ve gone from virtually dreading going to a boring, way too long, irrelevant service to eagerly looking forward to the High Holy Day (HHD) season. Kinda like my experience with brussel sprouts! Why do I look forward to going to a (typically too warm) auditorium to recite prayers that often don’t resonate with me in a language I don’t speak? Why give up two or three nights and days to sit (and stand, sit and stand, sit and stand over and over) witnessing rituals that are not meaningful to me in and of themselves? For me, the answers are both simple and complex. Congregation Sha’ar Zahav has become my community. I look forward to seeing and hugging people I haven’t seen in a year. I get to briefly chat with people I wish I would connect with more often, but our lives rarely overlap. [And yes, I get to see who’s brought a date, who’s looking particularly buff and who still makes me weak in the knees!] Through study sessions, sermons and other presentations, I get glimpses into other lives. Not to judge mine against theirs, but rather to help me recognize that I’m not the only one dealing with bouts of loneliness, money struggles or questioning the meaning of life. Being with hundreds of familiar faces can be as daunting as walking into a room knowing no one: who should I sit next to? Does that person still sting from what turned out to be a hurtful comment that I thought was going to be funny? Would that hunky guy welcome my hello or be turned off? But walk in I do, to take an annual break from my life. To recharge spent batteries. To check whether I’m on the path I want to be on. To say I’m sorry: to myself, to others, to the Source of All. Walking into Herbst Theater for Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur, I have no idea how (or if) I will be transformed. But I know that if I don’t go, I won’t take the time to be introspective, connect with others and acknowledge that this time of year is here once again. Join me and Congregation Sha’ar Zahav this year. E-mail me if you have no one to sit with and I’ll sit with you (or introduce you to one of my wonderful co-congregants you can sit with). If you still have a sour taste in your mouth from the High Holiday services of your youth, come sample what we have to offer. We strive to make the HHD service experience engaging. And you may surprise yourself how your tastes have progressed since childhood. I look forward to sharing more with you next week. Your CSZ HHD blogger, Howard Steiermann
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Date25th of May, 2012 
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